


Dead People Cannot Get Sick

by SuperBi



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Krav is sick, M/M, bodyswap kinda, but really just taako glamouring, prompt, taako is a helpful boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 06:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperBi/pseuds/SuperBi
Summary: Prompt: hmm how about a taakitz prompt?? kravitz gets sick the day of a big meeting or sth (yeah i know he’s dead just roll w it) and taako glamours himself to look like kravitz so he doesn’t miss whatever important thing he has to do! kind of a freaky friday situation but not really? :) of course there’s absolutely no pressure!





	Dead People Cannot Get Sick

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the best thing I have ever written, i'm honestly not sure if i like it, but i hope you do!

Kravitz was dead. Dead people couldn’t get sick. He was dead and therefore could not get sick. Despite this fact, it was the morning of the reaper squad’s biggest meeting of the year and Kravitz woke up with a cough wracking over his entire body. It was apparently rather loud, because Taako jumped out of bed next to him

“Hachi machi bubula, what the fuck was that?” Taako said, rubbing his eyes.

“I seem to have a fantasy cold, darling.” Kravitz answered around another loud cough, trying to figure out-

“How is that even possible? You’re death, I’m pretty sure one of the benefits is not being bedridden with a fucking cold.” Taako was still standing next to the bed, although he’d magicked his shawl over to cover his otherwise bare shoulders.

 “While I would usually agree with you there love, I am definitely not feeling well.” Kravitz said, he was exhausted.

“Yeah, well I’m gonna need to discuss that with madam Raven Queen. My boyfriend isn’t allowed to be sick.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I have a meeting with your sister and her boyfriend today that I cannot miss. I’m sure a bit of coffee will be enough for me to manage.” Kravitz coughed out, moving to sit up.

“Absolutely not, you’re sick my dude. Sick people don’t go to meetings.” Taako explained as if he had some authority on the concept.

“Look darling, I love how much you care, but I have to make it to this meeting.”

“Then you will, but you’re staying in bed.” Taako said before he began waving his hands around. Kravitz considered arguing but honestly, there was no use, and he was tired.

“There. Now, if you don’t mind my dear, you have a meeting to attend to. I’ll bring you notes.” Taako kissed Kravitz’s cheek, which prompted him to open his heavy eyes. “Holy mother of pan! Why am I kissing myself?” Kravitz asked himself, apparently.

“It’s still me, I’m fucking magic after all. I can glamour with the best of them.” Taako rolled his eyes before asking Kravitz to open the needed portal.

“Hello.” He said, trying to mimic his boyfriend’s tone.

“Hey death man! You ready to discuss our many successes and failures for the year?” Lup asked, playing around with fire in her hands.

“Of course, that is what we’re meeting about after all.” Taako agreed, hoping that was right and they were in fact meeting about that.

“Yeah… it is.” Barry agreed, “Well, Krav, you usually have to most detailed notes so why don’t you go first?”

“I would actually rather have a moment to finish collecting my thoughts, maybe one of you could go.” Fuck. Taako didn’t have his boyfriend’s notes.

“Oh, um, okay, Lup?” Barry offered.

“Yeah, no problemo babe, you okay there deathboy?” Lup asked, a crease forming between her eyes.

“Of course, your brother just kept me up rather late.” Taako tried not to laugh, although complimenting his own skills in bed was his favorite part so far.

“Ew, I don’t need to hear this. Anyway, let’s talk about all the ways I fucking killed it this year.” Lup began her very long explanation of the various ways she used fire to scare the absolute shit out of people.

“Well, that was certainly, um, aggressive.” Taako eventually landed on, although he really wanted to high five his twin and give her a few pointers on her entrances.

“Oh, you know I could do worse.” Lup laughed, looking expectantly at Kravitz/Taako.

“Of course you could. Barry, would you like to go next?” Taako hoped that was how these meetings usually went.

“Usually you have a bit more to say about Lup’s tactics.” Barry laughed a bit.

Taako was well aware at this point that he was well and truly fucked. He had a couple choices.

  1. Tell them what was going on, a.k.a, admit defeat.
  2. Continue pretending he was Kravitz
  3. Magic his way the hell out of this to go take care of his sick boyfriend.



Now, Taako did not, under an circumstances, give up. So, instead, he decided to magic his way the hell out of this. There were soups to be made, after all. With that decision made, he casted charm person on both of them. He and Lup usually had a pretty strong no magic on each other rule but, exceptions.

“Well. I think this meeting is over, wouldn’t you agree?” Taako asked.

“Of course!” Barry agreed readily, although he looked a bit confused afterwards.

“That’s quick. Of course though, whatever would make you happy!” Lup was fighting it even more than Barry, it was definitely time for Taako to get out of this. “Well, goodbye you two.” With that he walked out the door, hoping they would notice that he couldn’t exactly rip a hole in the universe and instead apparated himself home.

“You’re back soon, how’d the meeting go?” Kravitz asked groggily from the bed.

“Oh, it went perfect babe, don’t worry about that.” Taako laughed as he finished removing the glamour.

“Now, do you have a soup preference today?”


End file.
